Top 15 Robert Asprin Quotes

Careless is stupid, he snarled at himself, and stupid can be fatal.

What?" Jenna came out of her chair so fast, it crashed over. "Are you insane?"
"No," Skeeter said mildly, "although I know a few people who might argue the point.

You know," Malcolm remarked to no one in particular, "I'd say that chap doesn't enjoy time travel.

Are you out of your mind? No, you have to be in possession of a mind, first, to be out of it.

How much did that ridiculous maintenance job of yours pay?"
Skeeter blinked. "Five bucks an hour, why?"
"Five bucks? That's not a salary, that's slavery!

Once again, Caddrick had failed to use the few brains God had given him.

Playing God was a sweetly addictive game.

No matter how you look at it," Margo muttered, "when you get down to it, human beings aren't really much better than killer plains apes, are they? Just a thin sugar-coating of civilization to make 'em look prettier.

Li was a very honest and honorable man. But when it came to any man’s abiding passion, honesty occasionally went straight out the nearest available window.

A brave man is one who admits his fear. Only a fool believes himself invincible.

Fools have a way of discovering...that the laws of time travel, like the laws of physics, have no pity and no remorse.

It is jihad, Mr. Morgan, a particularly virulent, fundamentalist form of hatred.

It operates very much like the social structure of a nomadic tribe. Those in the brotherhood are fully human; those outside are not.

So fare the fortunes of men, Skeeter thought bitterly, when seven wolves and a sheep decide what’s for lunch. Perfect democracy: everybody got to vote. Even the lunch.

He'll get a life sentence for the illegal trafficking alone and probably a death sentence for the people he killed along the way." He sighed slightly. "I always did fancy happy endings.