Tom Robbins Quotes

Funny how we think of romance as always involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense.

The first time that she spread her legs for him it had been like opening her jaws for the dentist.

Any half-awake materialist well knows — that which you hold holds you.

She tried out the chamber pot, although she really had nothing to contribute.

A rabbi's dog could score pork chops in the streets of Tel Aviv easier than Bernard could acquire tequila in King County Jail.

"I'll follow him to the ends of the earth," she sobbed. Yes, darling. But the earth doesn't have any ends. Columbus fixed that.

This stuff's so fine Julius Caesar called for it with his dying breath. 'A toot, Brutus,' is what he said.

They snuggled closer, and when they were as close as they could get without being behind one another, they commenced to kiss again.

A better world has gotta start somewhere. Why not with you and me?

The man and woman firmly shook hands. The solution to the overpopulation problem might rest in such handshakes.

He looked at her with that kind of painted-on seriousness that comedians shift into when they get their chance to play Hamlet.

She lunched on papaya poo poo or mango mu mu or some other fruity foo foo bursting with overripe tropical vowels.

Sharks are the criminals of the sea. Dolphins are the outlaws.

There are essential and inessential insanities. The latter are solar in character, the former are linked to the moon.

They'd be no threat to me. I have a black belt in Haiku. And a black vest in the cleaners.