Woody Allen Quotes

Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

"How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich."

Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

The most beautiful words in the English language are not 'I love you', but 'It's benign'.

"It was great seeing Annie again. I realised what a terrific person she was and how fun it was just knowing her. And I thought of that old joke, you know. The guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." and the doctor says, "well, why don't you turn him in?" and the guy says, "I would, but o need the eggs."
Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but, err, I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs."

While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' — probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.