Rupert Holmes Quotes

THE ENEMY…We do refrain from using this term in reference to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as we count so many of their number as alumni.

It’s a sad truism that those who appear affluent often evade the scrutiny of law enforcement.

I'm sure there is such a thing as love at first sight, although I suspect many people recall it more in retrospect than experience it in their initial encounter. But I do believe in seeing someone in a different light for a first time, suddenly realizing that this person you've been passing in the hall for months is someone you might be prepared to share your life with, even though the previous day you'd barely given them a thought, or at least a conscious one.

flattery is a most sinuous form of incapacitation.

nothing beats a couple of really stiff banana daiquiris enriched with yogurt. The bananas have tryptophan and magnesium to make your target dozy and potassium to keep them that way. The yogurt delivers melatonin, tryptophan, and calcium, and to seal the deal, they make a 168-proof rum in Barbados that might as well be knockout drops.

We know what Heaven or Hell may bring, but no man knoweth the mind of the King.

what were my impressions upon viewing for the first time the manor where you’d had me brought? My initial thought was “Toad Hall.” This was, of course, an inadequate comparison but the best I could muster considering the limited number of books I’d read that centered on soaring Gothic structures. (As a boy, I went nine pages into The Hunchback of Notre Dame before realizing it wasn’t a football story.)

She figured she’d put a toll booth on that bridge when she came to it.

When a man dies from a bullet entering his chest, it’s a homicide. When a man dies from a meteorite landing on his head, it’s a tragedy. Don’t use bullets. Use meteorites. Don’t commit a homicide. Commit a tragedy.

And that, to me, embraces the very soul of the most important commandment you'll find anywhere in your Principles of Successful Termination: 'Do in others as you would have others do you in.

"The same way death ought to come," added Dobson, almost wistfully. "No time for last words, apologies, retractions, rewrites. The good you did, the mess you made, that's what lives on."

Apparently the kitchen is to be commended for their successful use of fire.

Mr. Iverson, you've all the timing of a prophylactic salesman in a maternity ward.

It is simplicity itself to fire one’s employer. All it takes is some kindling and a match.

Do not ask for whom the bell tolls. Ask who would mourn in hearing it. If answer comes there none, then more power to you (especially if you are planning an electrocution.)