We assume that it’s better to wipe out negative thoughts, numb our feelings and move on to more positive ideas. This is often ineffective because you’re just trying to trick yourself into thinking things are okay,

In the 1990s, Dr Masaru Emoto carried out ground-breaking experiments on the impact of emotional energy on water.11 In one study, he wrote positive and negative words on containers full of water. He then froze samples of the water from each container.

The great Greek philosopher Aristotle claimed that everything happens for a reason. You can apply this when you consider that every experience in your life is designed to shape you and help you grow into the highest and mightiest version of yourself. This means that even a negative experience can be seen as an opportunity for growth, rather than a time for suffering. (This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t grieve or feel down when we do go through painful life experiences, and it’s important to give yourself time to heal after such events.)

No relationship is a total waste. Despite how painful they may be, they teach you about what you want and what you don’t want. They can remind you that you deserve better. And if it’s painful enough, a bad relationship can be the catalyst for a journey inward. But no relationship, either with a past lover or friend or family member, is worth damaging future opportunities to connect with others or yourself.

To establish this closeness with someone else, we need to have something called ‘reciprocal self-disclosure’ – this means being able to communicate often with each other, without fear or criticism, in an accepting way.

We give everything to someone who just won’t match our efforts and willingness to try. We empty our love bank to make them feel wealthier, while we become broke. We give ourselves up to someone who doesn’t respect us enough to treat us well in return.