My mother used to knit my mittens too big so they’d still fit me when I grew. I wore them and looked like who I wasn’t yet. I feel that sometimes when I’m writing poems — like they don’t yet fit. Do you ever feel like the best of you is something you’re still hoping to grow into?

I feel that sometimes when I’m writing poems — like they don’t yet fit. Do you ever feel like the best of you is something you’re still hoping to grow into?

Ever feel like the best of you is something you're still hoping to grow into?

Do you ever feel like the best of you is something you’re still hoping to grow into?

I have also tailored my happiness to fit,' I cried out. 'But I have grown, and now my happiness is too tight. Sometimes it almost strangles me...

I am still writing my way toward a place where I fit.

You are just growing and blossoming into the world, and that scares those who want to keep you a certain way to feel better about themselves. Maybe they define their goodness as people or their being enough as people by the controlled image they have of you. The only way for you to not get that resistance is to stay stagnant and small without growing, and to live by the conditions that they’ve decided are the limits of who you can be to deserve their acceptance and approval.

Being too much of one thing and not enough of another had been a recurring theme in my life. I was, like many young women, expected to be small so that boys could expand and white girls could shine.

When I would not shrink, people made sure that I knew I had erred.

I’m a writer I guess....I’m still waiting for the big one!” Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Learn by doing! A cal poly motto quote

If you are not embarrassed by your past self, you have probably not grown up yet.

I can't express myself 'cause I'm not fully grown.

Even though you want to try to, never grow up

My misery has enjoyed company,
And although I have ached, I don't threaten anybody.
Sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you.
Sometimes I wonder why I quell
When I'm not required to.
I've tried to be small,
I've tried to be stunted,
I've tried roadblocks and all
My happy endings prevented.
Sometimes I feel it's all just too big
To be true.
I sabotage myself for fear of what
My bigness could do.