We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty — and fart proudly.

Farting, don't think, just fart.

My friends like to tell me before they fart like it's important. They get really excited, like I wanna know about it. "Jeez I'm gonna fart." "Don't do it in here ya dickhead there's no windows." Or they tell you after they've done it. "I just farted." But nobody ever tell's you while their doing it. That'd be a bit weird going "I'm farting! (Pause) Still goin'!"

Fart like no one is watching

Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say all kinds of things, but the other place is supposed to keep quiet. But maybe our lower colons have something interesting to say. Maybe we should listen to them. Farts are human, more human than a lot of people I know. I think we should bring them out of the water closet and into the parlor, and that’s what I did in Blazing Saddles.

We're here to fuck shit up

Is that about farting zombies?

Let us not foist this humbug on the world.

Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.
Come let us fart in the home.
There is no art in a fart.
Still a fart may not be artless.
Let us fart and artless fart in the home.

You can’t even trade a single fart with the next guy. Each and every one of us has to live out his own life. Don’t waste time thinking about who’s most talented.

For our amusement fools are born on earth.

every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh.

Yeah nigga, fart that shit. [referring to a vulgar method of lighting marijuana]