If you look at the best research on parenting, it comes down to one thing and one thing only. Not what you teach your children or how much time you spend with them, or if you read to them or not. What it comes down to is who you are, because we teach who we are. You read, your child will read. You watch too much TV, your child will. You do service in the world, your child will do service in the world. So the best way to get past all the worries is to be the best you that you can be. And forgive yourself when you are not. And not to hold unrealistic expectations of your children when you are in no way showing them the behavior you demand from them. Be an example to yourself that your child can be proud of.

Remember, no matter the problem, kindness is always the right response. When your child is having a problem, stop, listen, then respond to the need, not the behavior. The behavior can be addressed later, after the need has been met, because only then is the door to effective communication truly open.

Focus more on who your child is than what your child does. Remember, you're growing a person, not fixing a problem.

Aldığınız önlemlere karşın çocuğunuz düzeni bozan bir şey yapmışsa, yararlı bir eşyayı kırmışsa, onu kendi ihmalinizden dolayı cezalandırmayın, hiç azarlamayın, bir tek kınama sözü işitmesin, sizi üzdüğünü birazcık bile olsa görmesine izin vermeyin, özellikle de o eşya kendiliğinden kırılmış gibi davranın; kısacası, hiçbir şey söylememeyi başarırsanız, çok şey yapmış olduğunuza inanın.

If your child fails at something merely express your confidence in their ability to handle the consequences. If they behave irresponsibly, merely point out the consequences to themselves and others, and again express your trust that they will learn. As soon as possible give them another opportunity to be appropriately responsible. Do not slip into the downward spiral of blame, shame, and control. It doesn't work.

They’re your children. The more you try to force them to be like you, the more they’re going to flare off in different directions like wild fireworks, the more they’re going to surprise and disappoint you.

Oh! I’m going to do good things for my child. Balony! That’s all ego. Just work on yourself And: Everytime you work on yourself, you get calmer you hear more you sense more you are more you’re more present What are you offering a child? not a set of social roles passing in the night. . . . youre offering a child here and now — ness The treasure of consciousness The treasure of awareness.

It's so awful, attacking your child. It's the worse thing I know, to shout loudly at this 50 lb. being with his huge trusting brown eyes. It's like bitch-slapping E.T.

Listen instead of lecture. Communicate instead of command. Relate instead of retaliate. Be flexible instead of being fixated on getting your own way. Seek to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. In short, behave the way you want your children to learn to behave.

If you can't control your own emotions, you're forced to control other people's behaviour. That's why the touchiest, most oversensitive and easily upset must not set the standard for the rest of us .

Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother for your baby, your anger. The moment you begin to practice breathing mindfully in and out, you have the energy of a mother, to cradle and embrace the baby. Just embracing your anger, just breathing in and breathing out, that is good enough. The baby will feel relief right away.

Instead, parents just have to be good enough. They have to provide their kids with stable and predictable rhythms. They need to be able to fall in tune with their kids’ needs, combining warmth and discipline. They need to establish the secure emotional bonds that kids can fall back upon in the face of stress. They need to be there to provide living examples of how to cope with the problems of the world so that their children can develop unconscious models in their heads.

There are also children who are hyperactive and cannot stay still but are always creating trouble. You won’t realise this until you stay with them and see with your own eyes. It gives you a wider spectrum of what children are like in the real world.

It’s okay not to understand; it’s okay to be tired sometimes; it’s okay to stress – you’re human too but just try and engage your child in an activity when you’re in a good place.