Last week, I went to a discount massage parlor — it was sel… - Rodney Dangerfield

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Last week, I went to a discount massage parlor — it was self-service.

Rodney Dangerfield

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About Rodney Dangerfield

Jack Roy (born Jacob Rodney Cohen; November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), popularly known by the stage name Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, screenwriter, musician and author. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.

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Birth Name: Jacob Cohen

Alternative Names: Jacob Rodney Cohen • Jack Roy

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Emo Philips David Sedaris Steven Wright Jay London Mickey Spillane

Additional quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

The toughest club I worked was owned by a guy named Nunzio. Man, he was tough. One day he said to me, “Kid, you wanna go hunting?” I said, “Okay, I’m game.” And he shot me.

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children’s zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

I tell ya, my wife is never nice. She won a trip to Las Vegas for two. She went twice.

Last week, I went to a discount massage parlor — it was self-service. - Rodney Dangerfield

About Rodney Dangerfield

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Additional quotes by Rodney Dangerfield