Jay London Quotes

It'll be over soon, miss.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

People ask me what I think about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I get all my hair products at PetCo. (Jay's hair is long, curly, and quite messy)

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I model irregular clothing.

I had a very lonely New Year's this year. I had to watch my own balls drop.

Did you know it was a year ago today?

I saw a sign that said "Left Lane Closed." So I went someplace else.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.