Jay London Quotes

American comedian

Jay London (born September 12, 1966, in The Bronx) is an American stand-up comic whose one-liner jokes made him a favorite on NBC's second and third seasons of Last Comic Standing. He had a thing for saying "Thank you" after some of his one-liners, depending on crowd reaction. He also acted very self-conscious and would randomly badmouth himself, especially if the crowd was left dumbstruck by a joke and didn't laugh much. It was all part of the act.

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I recorded my hair this morning. Tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I had a very lonely New Year's this year. I had to watch my own balls drop.

I model irregular clothing.

I was born nine months premature.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, because we all have nicknames. So I named my private part Pride. It's not much, but at least I have my Pride.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.