We feel pressured to do something extraordinary with our lives, or to an extraordinary standard of merit, or in a way that's applauded by an extraord… - Oliver Burkeman

The greatest benefit of negative capability — the true power of negative thinking — is that it lets the mystery back in.

The advice of etiquette experts on dealing with unwanted invitations, or overly demanding requests for favours, has always been the same: just say no. That may have been a useless mantra in the war on drugs, but in the war on relatives who want to stay for a fortnight, or colleagues trying to get you to do their work for them, the manners guru Emily Post's formulation – 'I'm afraid that won't be possible' – remains the gold standard. Excuses merely invite negotiation. The comic retort has its place (Peter Cook: 'Oh dear, I find I'm watching television that night'), and I'm fond of the tautological non-explanation ('I can't, because I'm unable to'). But these are variations on a theme. The best way to say no is to say no. Then shut up.

You might easily never have been born, but fate granted you the opportunity to get stuck into the mess you see around you, whatever it is. You are here. This is it. You don't much matter – yet you matter as much as anyone ever did. The river of time flows inexorably on; amazingly, confoundingly, marvelously, we get the brief chance to go kayaking in it.