All men and all women have their secret gardens, whose gates they guard against the profane invasion of the vulgar crowd. These are visual pictures o… - Eric Berne

Despair is a concern of the Adult, while in depression it is the Child who has the executive power.

In short, ‘Be careful!’ too often means: ‘Make a mistake so I can tell you I told you to be careful,’ and that is the final display. ‘Be careful, ha ha!’ is even more of a provocation. As a straight Adult instruction ‘Be careful!’ may have some value, but Parental overconcern or a Child Ha Ha gives it a different turn.

The big celebration, the wedding or housewarming, takes place not when the debt is discharged, but when it is undertaken. What is emphasized on TV, for example, is not the middle-aged man who has finally paid off his mortgage, but the young man who moves into his new home with his family, proudly waving the papers he has just signed and which will bind him for most of his productive years. After he has paid his debts — the mortgage, the college expenses for his children and his insurance — he is regarded as a problem, a “senior citizen” for whom society must provide not only material comforts but a new “purpose.