Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid. - Mark Forsyth

Offices are peculiar places and nobody is ever quite sure what happens in them, least of all the people who work there. But the day tends to begin with a morning meeting, in which everybody decides what they will fail to do for the rest of the day.

We usually think of beavers as sweet little creatures who build dams, but that’s not how a constipated Renaissance man would view them; a constipated Renaissance man would view them as his relief and his cure. You see, the beaver has two sacs in his groin that contain a noxious and utterly disgusting oil that acts as a very effective laxative. This very valuable liquid was known as castor oil.

The palindromeis anold tradition: the first thing that man ever said was, probably, “Madam, I'm Adam.” And it has caused terrible distress to even the greatest literary minds