I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep. - Jarod Kintz

Trophies are clutter at best, and weapons at worst. I prefer my awards heavy and with handles.

My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I poured you two glasses, which can easily and efficiently be drunk out of one cup.

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)