I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident. - Rita Rudner

Well, the old theory was "marry an older man because they're more mature". But the new theory is "men don't mature — marry a young one".

Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?