Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient. - Jarod Kintz

A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman.

99% of the population is afraid of public speaking, and of the remaining 1%, 99% of them have nothing original and interesting to say.

One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind.