The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the wors… - Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It — with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.

We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row.