One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child — you’re the dumb one. - Jarod Kintz

She makes my heart melt. There is a limited supply of sips, so grab a straw and start slurping while you can.

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity.

You should shoot. I should shoo.