One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child — you’re the dumb one. - Jarod Kintz

Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say.

Just because it’s called freelancing, doesn’t mean you work for free. If you charge nothing, people will assign an equal value to your work.

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.