There is life, and there is death, and in between there is me. Please don’t wake me up. - Jarod Kintz

I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!

Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam.

I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more efficiently, like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security.