New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the lib… - Emo Philips

" "
New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.

Emo Philips

Sources available for members. Sign up free to see where this quote comes from

English

Collect this quote

About Emo Philips

Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec 7 February 1956) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. He is known for his eccentric appearance, surreal humor, and the bizarre cadence of his voice in the delivery of his lines.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Philip Soltanec

All quotes from Emo Philips Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Emo Philips:

David Sedaris Steven Wright Rodney Dangerfield Jarod Kintz J. D. Salinger

Additional quotes by Emo Philips

When I was a little boy, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised, the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

How many people here tonight are telekinetic? Raise my hand.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove … - Emo Philips

About Emo Philips

Also Known As

Try QuoteGPT

Additional quotes by Emo Philips