I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100. - Jarod Kintz

"I want to get the words "Courage" and "Bravery" tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."

I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer and say hello, I respond, “I have returned, as prophesied.” Then I just stand there staring at them.

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.