Our whole world is advertising, so we think everyone’s whole world is advertising. That’s why so many of us are so bad at it. We don’t think it’s our… - Dave Trott

Gentlemen, you’ve just experienced what the public’s impression of British Rail is. Now, if you’ll come this way, we’ll show you exactly how we’re going to turn that around.

Orson Welles summed it up best in The Third Man. ‘In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

She said, ‘Standard El Al procedure. If you check the passengers’ luggage, you have to fly on the plane.’ How about that? The person who inspects the passengers’ luggage for bombs has to bet their life on how well they do their job.