Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights. - Jarod Kintz

I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love — and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love.

I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one.

The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there.