I walked to work. I paced up and down the bus looking for a seat. Next time I walk to work I’m getting on my treadmill. - Jarod Kintz

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.

The world needs more laws. I say this only because I believe the world needs more lawyers. If everybody was a lawyer, there’d be no unemployment, because the economy would be like a great lawsuit factory. Farmers in this utopia wouldn’t raise crops, they’d raise suspicion.

I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!