Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. We… - Jarod Kintz

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Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last week her hair was dyed blonde, and she had blue eyes. Or maybe that was a different woman. I don’t know. All I know is that she is my soul mate.

Jarod Kintz

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women.

I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.

I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.

Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last week her hair was dyed blonde, and she had blue eyes. Or maybe that wa… - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz