When I want to hurt someone who hurt me, I remind myself that tomorrow they’ll wake up and still be themselves. And that there’s no pain I can inflict upon them that’s worse than them being themselves. And that helps me get over it.

We desperately want to learn someone’s true intentions (their desired outcome) because it helps us predict their behavior

But sometimes our worst pain comes from people w the best intentions

If someone only hurts you, you need to start listening to your eyes more than your ears

if someone says they’re hurt by your actions, you must believe they’re hurt; you can’t decide for them whether or not they felt hurt in the first place.

You can hurt someone and not even know it

The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them.

Those who live in a distracted way are usually extremely insensitive to the sufferings and needs of others. They harm others already "unintentionally," such as the person who obstructs the passage of others without realizing that he is bothering them. He usually excuses himself by saying that he "didn't mean to," and this is usually true. However, no one should, in this tense and increasingly crowded world, relax to the point of disturbing others "without intending to". We should concentrate more, be more attentive, not relax to the point of forgetting that others are always around, and that by moving our arms in an exaggerated and inattentive manner, we can harm someone "unintentionally."

It isn’t right to wish pain on other people just because they hurt me first.

Another person will not hurt you without your cooperation; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.

What can we do when we have hurt people and nowthey consider us to be their enemy?
Thereare few things to do. The first thing is to take the time to say, “I am sorry, I hurt you out of my ignorance, out of my lack of mindfulness, out of my lack of skillfulness. I will try my best to change myself. I don’t
dare to say anything more to you.” Sometimes, we do not have the intention to hurt, but because we are not mindful or skillful enough, we hurt someone. Being mindful in our daily life is important, speaking in a way that will not hurt anyone.
The second thing to do is to try to bring out the best part in ourselves, to transform ourselves. That is the only way to demonstrate what you have just said. When you have become fresh and pleasant, the other person will notice very soon. Then when there is a chance to approach that person, you can come to her as a flower and she will notice immediately that you are quite different. You may not have to say anything. Just seeing you like that, she will accept you and forgive you. That is called “speaking with your life and not just with words.”
When you begin to see that your enemy is suffering, that is the beginning of insight. When you see in yourself the wish that the other person stop suffering,that is a sign of real love. But be careful. Sometimes you may think that you are stronger than you actually are.
To test your real strength, try going to the other person to listen and talk to him or her, and you will discover right away whether your loving compassion is real. You need the other person in order to test. If you just meditate on some abstract principle such as understanding or love, it may be just your imagination and not real understanding or real love. Reconciliation opposes all forms
of ambition, without taking sides.
Most of us want to take sides in each encounter or conflict. We distinguish right from wrong based on partial evidence or hearsay. We need indignation in order to act, but even righteous,
legitimate

It is very important for us
to realize that love, to be true,
has to hurt. I must be willing to
give whatever it takes not to harm
other people and, in fact, to do
good to them. This requires that
I be willing to give until it hurts.
Otherwise there is no true love
in me and I bring injustice,
not peace, to those around me.

Then you must reconcile yourself to the fact that something is always hurt by any change. If you do this, you will not be hurt yourself.

You are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.

It is unethical to hurt someone because we have been told to do so. We are required by decency to ask both the complainant and the accused how they understand the situation. And this, I truly believe, requires an in-person discussion. Asking hard questions and creating an environment in which complexities can be faced is, after all, what a real friend does.

Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do then hurt me.