I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn’t arrived yet. - Jarod Kintz

I remember one time some guy put caviar in my omelet, and I had to complain saying, “Excuse me, you idiot, but there are eggs in my omelet.” He didn’t know how to respond, probably because he felt so foolish.

A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two — plus one.

I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet.