Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely. - Jarod Kintz

Flower petals in the breeze look like a butterfly flapping its wings. My love for you takes flight like a white orchid blushing pink.

I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you.

There’s bloodstains on my carpet, so I can’t have any vampire over, lest they lick they carpet while I’m urinating on it. Ugh, first world problems.