Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf? T… - Jarod Kintz

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Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf?
The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.

We talked for four hours. Well, I talked for four, and she listened for two.

I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller.

Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf? The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it. - Jarod Kintz

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