I got a boob job on my butt, and be honest here, does this bra make my ass look fat? - Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.

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I like to spoon after I fork.

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I’ve often wondered why the Protestant Reformation took place in Germany, rather than in Poland. Then I realize that Luther had to nail his 95 theses to the church door, and the Poles didn’t know how to operate a hammer.

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