I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them. - Jarod Kintz

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity.

With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone.

An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents.