With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone. - Jarod Kintz

I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, “Twelve minutes or twelve hours. Depends on which beach you want to go to.

I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my soul, or essence, had left my body and went and inhabited the body of my clone. So I wasn’t in my body, and yet I was. Or maybe none of that happened, and I was just in a delirious, sleep-deprived state.

Leadership is being the first to put others second. Wait, that’s not right. That’s politics.