Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall over his own bluff.

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.

If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

When the man was dead an examination disclosed the unmistakable marks of an animal’s fangs deeply sunken into the jugular vein. But there was no animal.

Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Brower was as courageous a criminal as ever lived to be hanged.

"Good stranger," I continued, "I am ill and lost. Direct me, I beseech you, to Carcosa"

"An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

Liberty, n. The distinction between freedom and liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have never been able to find a living specimen of either.

Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous

May it please your honour, crimes are ghastly or agreeable only by comparison.

God hates a coward...

Enthusiasm, n. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.