Bill Cosby Quotes

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

I said to a guy, I said, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?", and he said, "Well, it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

Carol Burnett put it best when she described labor pains. She said, "Take your bottom lip, and pull it over your head."

"As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful.

I am not interested in statistics that tell me things are not as bad as they seem. Things are horrible. I have met people crying about what is happening, but there is no solution yet. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. I don't care what the statistics say.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

Non so quale sia la chiave del successo, ma la chiave del fallimento è il cercare di piacere a tutti.

We've got to take the neighborhood back. We've got to go in there. Just forget telling your child to go to the Peace Corps. It's right around the corner. It's standing on the corner. It can't speak English. It doesn't want to speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk. "Why you ain't where you is go." I don't know who these people are. And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. Then I heard the father talk. This is all in the house. You used to talk a certain way on the corner and you got into the house and switched to English. Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't land a plane with "why you ain't…". You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. There is no Bible that has that kind of language. Where did these people get the idea that they're moving ahead on this? Well, they know they're not, they're just hanging out in the same place, five or six generations sitting in the projects when you're just supposed to stay there long enough to get a job and move out.

i was'nt always black. there was this freckel that just grew and grew...

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?