Bob Monkhouse Quotes

I suddenly realised I could maybe occupy a different position because of age, a kind of acceptance.

I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now.

People who hadn't noticed me, or who had written me off as a game show host, started to reassess me. There were people who hadn't seen me as a stand-up artist and liked it. Suddenly I was in fashion again.

They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.

When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

Smarmy, plastic, oily, greasy, unctuous, shallow, superficial, old-fashioned, superannuated, crap

People always say: "You're a comedian, tell us a joke." They don't say: "You're an MP, tell us a lie."

The awkward part about an orgy is that afterwards you're not too sure who to thank

People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.

Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.