David Kessler Quotes

grief is optional in this lifetime. Yes, it's true. You don't have to experience grief, but you can only avoid it by avoiding love. Love and grief are inextricably intertwined. As Erich Fromm says, "To spare oneself from grief at all costs can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability

Disenfranchised grief is the result of a loss for which people do not feel they have a socially recognized right to grieve. Disenfranchised grief is often not openly mourned or approved of.

People often say, "I don't know how you're doing it." I tell them that I'm not. I'm not deciding to wake up in the morning. I just do. Then I put one foot in front of the other because there's nothing else to do. Whether I like it or not, my life is continuing, and I have decided to be part of it.

wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. Lose your child and you're… nothing. — Tennessee Williams

We live in a fix-it society with the technology to repair many broken things at our fingertips. We forget that we've all been deliberately designed to "end" one day. When that ending happens, there's nothing to fix. . . This is not giving up, or giving in. It's acceptance.

I don't want to have to tell them that my life lost all its meaning when they died. They loved me, and they wouldn't want that.

It all goes back to letting the person know that while pain from loss is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Here are some thoughts that may guide you in understanding meaning: Meaning is relative and personal Meaning takes time. You may not find it until months or even years after loss Meaning doesn't require understanding. It's not necessary to understand why someone died in order to find meaning Even when you do find meaning, you won't feel it was worth the cost of what you lost Your loss is not a test, a lesson, something to handle, a gift, or a blessing. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen Only you can find your own meaning Meaningful connections will heal painful memories

When someone dies, the relationship doesn't die with them.

Life gives us pain. Our job is to experience it when it gets handed to us.

You have to cry your own tears because no one can do it for you.

Healing doesn't mean the loss didn't happen. It means that it no longer controls us.

Your loss is not a test, a lesson, something to handle, a gift, or a blessing. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.

the reality is posttraumatic growth happens more than posttraumatic stress.

"Your pain will not always be like this," I told her. "It will change." This is a message that the grieving need to hear, and in the moment of saying it, I often observe a shift. The person looks up at me and says, "It will?" And he or she suddenly becomes lighter.