Definitely! When my son was younger, I learnt to do a lot of things very quickly, especially if he was having a nap. We are a single parent family so I became a lot more efficient in how I spent my time generally. I found this mindset very useful when I returned to work full time after maternity leave. Part of this was learning to prioritise very quickly what was important and what could wait. I became less of a perfectionist after having my son and realised that ‘good enough’ was what was required – perfectionism is totally unattainable.
Nigerian lawyer
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Yes. I am less likely to suffer fools and my core values are deeply entrenched. I refused to compromise on my parenting, ultimately leading to me leaving my role as a corporate solicitor in a central London law firm for a similar role with a regional firm. At the same time, I moved out of London to Hertfordshire, creating a much better life balance. I became a lot more decisive (again, because this makes best use of time) and even more driven to deliver and get things done within the time available. Ultimately, having my son improved my leadership style and my overall performance.
However, I want to be absolutely clear and say that I do this work for a cause and not for applause. Improving diversity and maximising potential is my calling and I would still make sacrifices for this cause even if no recognition was forthcoming. I am visible about what I do not to brag, show off or self-promote but because research has consistently shown that there remains a severe lack of visible, accessible role models in our society, causing fundamental issues for those looking for an example to follow. This is particularly acute within the ethnic minority community.
It was definitely the first time my son came with me to a speaking engagement at the London office of one of the world’s largest law firms. He was only 9 years old but immediately started ‘working the room’ and networking with others. He spoke to everyone from the receptionist to senior partners of the firm. I have a picture of him sitting on the balcony with the firm’s global chair, having a conversation, a priceless and memorable moment
I remained an invisible diversity campaigner for several years and shied away from the exposure and vulnerability that comes with raising your head above the parapet. I later realised that my influence and impact would be much enhanced if I was more visible. A friend once told me that "a world of opportunity awaits the visible". Since making the decision to become more visible a few years ago, I have been able to drive more impactful change.
At that interview, the head of legal (who is English but whose partner is of Asian descent) asked me if I thought my race had been a factor in me not getting interviews with other organisations. That was, honestly, the first time I had even considered race as being something that could inhibit my progress. Thankfully, I was offered a role by her and was able to qualify as a solicitor in-house.
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I believe that everyone should be given the opportunity to maximise their potential irrespective of background. Sadly, it is often only those on the field who are aware of the uphill struggle that they face. We need to empower others if we find ourselves in a position of privilege, embracing and celebrating our differences to work towards building a better society