American writer
Heidi Murkoff (born November 28, 1958) is the co-author of the What to Expect When You're Expecting series of pregnancy guides. She is also the creator of WhatToExpect.com and founder of the What to Expect Project.
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Once the mouth is open wide, move your baby closer. Do not move your breast toward the baby, and don’t push your baby’s head into your breast. And be sure not to stuff your nipple into your baby’s unwilling mouth — let your baby take the initiative. It might take a couple of attempts before your baby opens wide enough to latch on properly.
The following houseplants are poisonous, some in very small doses: Dumb cane, English ivy, foxglove, hyacinth bulbs (and leaves and flowers in quantity), hydrangea, iris rootstalk and rhizome, lily of the valley, philodendron, Jerusalem cherry. Outdoor plants that are poisonous include: Azalea, rhododendron, caladium, daffodil and narcissus bulbs, daphne, English ivy, foxglove, hyacinth bulbs (and leaves and flowers in quantity), hydrangea, iris rootstalk and rhizome, Japanese yew seeds and leaves, larkspur, laurel, lily of the valley, morning glory seeds, oleander, privet, rhubarb leaves, sweet peas (especially the “peas,” which are the seeds), tomato plant leaves, wisteria pods and seeds, yews. Holiday favorites holly and mistletoe, and to a lesser extent, poinsettia (which is irritating but not poisonous), are also on the danger list.
Cracking the Crying Code Sure, crying is a baby’s only form of communication — but that doesn’t mean you’ll always know exactly what he or she is trying to say. Not to worry. This cheat sheet can help you figure out what those whimpers, wails, and shrieks really mean: “I’m hungry.” A short and low-pitched cry that rises and falls rhythmically and has a pleading quality to it (as in “Please, please feed me!”) usually means that baby’s in the market for a meal. The hunger cry is often preceded by hunger cues, such as lip smacking, rooting, or finger sucking. Catch on to the clues, and you can often avoid the tears. “I’m in pain.” This cry begins suddenly (usually in response to something unexpectedly painful — for instance, the jab of a needle at shot time) and is loud (as in ear-piercing), panicked, and long (with each wail lasting as long as a few seconds), leaving the baby breathless. It’s followed by a long pause (that’s baby catching his or her breath, saving up for another chorus) and then repeated, long, high-pitched shrieks. “I’m bored.” This cry starts out as coos (as baby tries to get a good interaction going), then turns into fussing (when the attention he or she is craving isn’t forthcoming), then builds to bursts of indignant crying (“Why are you ignoring me?”) alternating with whimpers (“C’mon, what’s a baby got to do to get a cuddle around here?”). The boredom cry stops as soon as baby is picked up or played with. “I’m overtired or uncomfortable.” A whiny, nasal, continuous cry that builds in intensity is usually baby’s signal that he or she has had enough (as in “Nap, please!” or “Clean diaper, pronto!” or “Can’t you see I’ve had it with this infant seat?”). “I’m sick.” This cry is often weak and nasal sounding, with a lower pitch than the “pain” or “overtired” cry — as though baby just doesn’t have the energy to pump up the volume. It’s often accompanied by other signs of illness and changes in the baby’s behavior (for example, listlessness, refusal t
Crying it out. Also known as Ferberizing (named for Dr. Richard Ferber), the method works like this: At bedtime, while your child is sleepy but still awake, put him in the crib, give a gentle pat, a soft “I love you,” and then leave the room. Cue the crying (you knew it was coming). And here’s where the going gets tough: Let your tot cry for a full five minutes (it’ll seem much longer). Then go back in and repeat the original routine — a quick pat, a gentle “good night,” and go. Repeat this process for as long as your little guy cries, extending the time you leave him alone by about five minutes each time until he falls asleep. Stretch the times your child spends on his own by a few more minutes the second night, and again on the third. You can expect the crying jags to diminish steadily over three nights, and — drumroll, please — virtually disappear somewhere between the fourth and seventh night, replaced perhaps by a bit of fussing or a short burst of tears. The next sound you’re likely to hear? Nothing . . . except maybe a tiny snore.
Booze and Your Boys Hoping to toast some big baby news soon? You might want to consider swapping your accustomed toasting beverage before that big news even comes through, or cutting back on how many toasts you make during conception season. Too much alcohol (as you may have been dismayed to discover at one point or another) can impair a guy’s sexual function — a function you’re now counting on. But worse than that, research indicates that daily heavy drinking can damage sperm as well as reduce their number (in some men, even one or two beers or glasses of wine is enough to temporarily keep the boys down). Too many rounds on a regular basis can also alter testicular function and reduce testosterone levels (not a good scenario when you’re trying to make a baby). Heavy drinking (equivalent to two drinks a day or five drinks in one sitting even once a month) by the dad-to-be during the month prior to conception could also affect your baby’s birthweight. So for best baby-making results, your best bet is to drink only occasionally and lightly — or
Researchers have found that a woman’s brain-cell volume actually decreases during pregnancy (which could explain why you won’t remember what you just read about in that last paragraph). And — for reasons unknown — women pregnant with girls are more forgetful, on average, than those carrying boys (who would have guessed?). Fortunately, the pregnancy brain fog (similar to what many women experience premenstrually, only thicker) is only temporary. Your brain will plump back up a few months after delivery.
You know all that stuff they say about becoming a grandmother? How amazing it is … how much you’ll love it … how it’s all the best parts of being a parent — without the sleep deprivation? Well, they don’t tell you the half it. Becoming a grandmother, as I did on February 12, 2013, when Lennox entered the world, and minutes later, my welcoming arms, was life-changing, mind-blowing, heart-swelling … thrilling to the core. The heavens opened up. The earth moved. The love that washed over me as I held that sweet bundle for the first time was instantaneous, it was intense, it was unabashed … it hit me like a ton of bricks, and practically knocked me off my feet. I was smitten.
Taking the time to watch, listen to, and discern your baby’s nonverbal cues won’t only make your job of providing care easier, but it’ll make your baby’s job of taking on the world easier. Knowing that what he or she has to say matters will boost not only your baby’s language development, but also his or her confidence, sense of security, and emotional maturity, not only now, but in the lifetime that lies ahead.
Ring Around the Rosie, baby edition. Make this preschool favorite baby-friendly by adapting it for the lap. Hold your baby in a standing position on your lap and sing, “Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!” at which point you help him or her plop down to sitting. A variation is to substitute “hopscotch, hopscotch” for “ashes, ashes” and to pop your lap (and baby) up at each one. You can also play a traditional Ring Around the Rosie while holding baby in your arms — standing and turning in a circle before plopping down on the floor together.