Top 15 Jimmy Carr Quotes

British comedian and humourist

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James Anthony Patrick Carr Jr (born 15 September 1972 in Isleworth, London) is an English comedian, author, actor and presenter of radio and television, known for his deadpan, satirical and often very dark humour.

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Birth Name: James Anthony Patrick Carr

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When people talk about the Holocaust, they talk about the tragedy and horror of 6 million Jewish lives being lost to the Nazi war machine. But they never mention the thousands of Gypsies that were killed by the Nazis.
No one ever wants to talk about that, because no one ever wants to talk about the positives.

The highest terrorist threat level, as we all know, is “I don't care if this does look racist, I'm getting off the bus... That backpack is huge and he doesn't need to be saying his prayers.”

As head of the Catholic church, Pope Benedict is the boss of every Catholic priest in the world, he's effectively king of the pedos.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDs.

I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

I immediately adored performing. It really empowers you when everyone's laughing. It gives you an immense buzz. You just feel on top of the world.

But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.

Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.

So they've laughed and then they've thought, should we have laughed at that? Well, too late now. You did. I imagine I get more than my fair share of that.

The great thing about being a comedian is that it kind of doesn't matter how you look. It's actually a disadvantage to be too good-looking. There's a Darwinian advantage to being funny. If you're a good-looking fella, you can't be bothered to make up jokes.

I did quite a lot of TV shows over the latter half of 2004 - all those 100 Greatest and 100 Worst and all that kind of stuff. So I was a little bit overexposed. But I think you need to do that once in your career, and that's how you become famous. You get overexposed once, and then people know your name and you can relax a bit.

TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.

I'm a stand-up. And no one on the circuit's terribly impressed if you're on TV. I suppose I've stolen my ethos from Jay Leno. You can do all the TV in the world, but that's a team game, and anyone can be dropped from the squad. And if you haven't gigged in a while, you're not firing, you're not match fit. So I try and do it whenever I can.

I literally can't believe my luck. Torturing Americans should not only be easy, but a pleasure!

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.