Kathy Griffin Quotes

American actress and comedian

Kathleen "Kathy" Griffin (born November 4, 1960, in Oak Park, Illinois) is an Emmy-winning American stand-up comedian and actress. She has also been a voice actor and a red carpet commentator. Griffin has proclaimed herself a "D-list celebrity", and starred on her reality television series "Kathy Griffin - My Life on the D-List" from 2005 until 2010, for which she won an Emmy in both 2007 and 2008. Much of her stand-up humour is derived from her embellished encounters with notable celebrities.

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Birth Name: Kathleen Mary Griffin

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She (Monica Lewinsky) is the kinda girl who'll blow a guy and call you and tell you all about it.

She (Mariah Carey) could not fuck more black rappers. Oh, yeah. If your name is "Puff" or "Daddy," she'll fuck you.

(describing Celine Dion's family of 14 siblings) You know there is just issues and boundries and secrets. The name of my book.

There's something about Shania Twain I just don't trust. I don't know, I can't put my finger...she's just too thin. I like my country singers to have the big hair and the big ass.

Have you guys noticed that Madonna is British now? OK, let's talk about her lineage for a minute. Raised in Michigan, moved to New York, is British. She started turning British like at the Golden Globes and she was doing the interviews and she says "telly" instead of "television" and she uses the word "actually" way too much and then she's also sorta bringing her voice down to a register around here (brings her voice down) and she's being interviewed for the Golden Globes and she's got whole, you know, crazy hair that everybody hated and everybody has and they were saying, "Well, Madonna, we're so glad to have you at the Golden Globes." (speaks in Madonna British accent) "Well, actually, it is more fun to come here than watch it on the telly". You know. Look, I'm from the midwest- its a TV.

You know what's great about my mom? She compulsively swears and doesn't know it. Like...I mean, she doesn't have Tourettes. I could never get that lucky. Can you imagine how it would be to have parents with Tourettes? I would be in heaven...but anyway. That is one funny fucking disease.

4th booster f**kers. Oh, and CVS gave us EIGHT free Covid tests for getting boosted!

Can you believe this shit? Hell has frozen over. Now, a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is- suck it, Jesus! This award is my god now!

Kathy Griffin Quotes

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