Maddox Quotes

It was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder.

"This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma." (on the Honda Element)

"Most of the screen on a blog is blank for an imaginary populace of readers still using 640x480 resolution. I didn't buy a 19" monitor to have 50% of its screen realestate pissed away on firing white pixels, you assholes."

"General Grievous," a bad guy so sinister, his very name stands for PAIN AND SUFFERING. Nice job assholes... Why not just call all your characters "Evil" and "Bad" next time?"

Thank you Joe Nobody for giving me your expert opinion on what missile sounds like, because gas station superintendents are usually the best people to ask about the sonic signature of ballistic missile thrust.

"New rule: if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be a state anymore."

HOLY SHIT, I LIVE NEXT TO THE DRY PEA AND LENTIL CAPITAL OF THE WORLD? Why didn't anyone tell me??? Here I've been shit-listing Utah for all these years, when I've been living in a state that borders the dry pea and lentil capital of the world. I hereby revoke anything bad I've ever said about Idaho. And by revoke, I mean reaffirm.

Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors.

"my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like "omg nelly rules". hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce.

What are the odds that a simple geometric folding of a $20 bill with elements of design that were conceived in 1928 by a committee of treasurers, a full 42 years before the World Trade Center even existed, could accidentally contain a representation of both terror attacks? Pretty good, apparently.

For example, the cover on the right depicts Lobo (also known as "the main man") kicking Santa's ass. Santa did something to piss Lobo off (or nothing, it makes no difference), and Lobo RUINED HIS SHIT.

"Why are politicians so full of shit? Why can't there be a congressman (congressman, yes man, tough shit to all you feminists) that just speaks his mind without the meaningless bullshit and ass kissing?"

i hope that earns me some eprops (proper recognition in an electronic form lol) LOL LOL LOL!!!

It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king.

She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her pussy husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this bitch get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games.