Maddox Quotes

"Look out pop-culture! Bono has had enough of 'romantic love'."

It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king.

When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard.

I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster.

"...'SummerGrl19?' Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words 'happy, cute' or 'princess' to the name."

For example, the cover on the right depicts Lobo (also known as "the main man") kicking Santa's ass. Santa did something to piss Lobo off (or nothing, it makes no difference), and Lobo RUINED HIS SHIT.

She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her pussy husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this bitch get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games.

Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.

"I subscribe to an email service from CNN called "CNN Breaking News." Basically every time shit hits the fan, you're supposed to receive an email. Most of the "breaking news" I've received has been as earth shattering as an actor arrested for drunk driving. Wow, now excuse me while I change my freshly soiled boxers."

I hate the help screen, I hate the options, I hate the card graphics, I hate the default window size, everything. I HATE SOLITAIRE.

"The earth's population is about 6 billion. At 15 minutes per person, that amounts to over 171,000 years we'd have to spend just sitting around watching people be "famous." To hell with that."

Having spelling errors is one thing, but c'mon. I've typed out more coherent sentences with my penis.

Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid.

"If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel."

"I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Utah."