Markiplier Quotes

That scared the buhjeezus outta me!

Oh my god…! That was incredibly loud!

Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!

Oh my god, that is so morbid!

'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?

'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry.

Little piggy no no little piggy go home!

…Well! Glad you're being so polite about this. You're very civil—oh my god! I didn't blo[ck]… I didn't mean to look down! Ugh! They're naked! They are sooo naked! Oh my god!

That guy was, like, in full body armor! How'd they kill him?

! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! Calm down!

'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?

[begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap outta me."

Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!

Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!

If there was just - just - a purple monster sitting in a corner, waiting for me to walk over it, I would shit myself dry. I would absolutely lose all control of my bowels!