Markiplier Quotes

[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"

Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!

A lot of people try to boil down creation to just one thing and "what are you gonna do next" as if there's always a ladder to climb and it's like, the ladder is what you make for yourself, right?

…Well! Glad you're being so polite about this. You're very civil—oh my god! I didn't blo[ck]… I didn't mean to look down! Ugh! They're naked! They are sooo naked! Oh my god!

And now it says 'press B to blow.' Really?

Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!

'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry.

! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! Calm down!

Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!

Nonononono…! You don't see anything…

[to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!"

If I can't powerwash a cat, I'm out.

Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!

[begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap outta me."

Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!