Markiplier Quotes

'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?

[to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!"

What is that? Is that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ?" [gets closer] "Oh, no. I saw that thing; it looked like a giant, white box-head.

Nothing like washing helicopter dicks to make your day a little brighter.

…Why are you just there?

…Dammit, where the hell are these guys? They're nowhere to be found.

Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!

Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!

Oh my god…! That was incredibly loud!

Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!

[after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You son of a bitch!"

You got a stinky butt butt." Wow, thanks, that's really appreciated. I can think of a lot of logical explainations for why I got that text, like sure, maybe someone's kid got the message, but also, I know people in my life that would just text me that out of the blue, so I'm not gonna chalk it up to a kid automatically doing that.

[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"

Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway.

Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!