Markiplier Quotes

Nonononono…! You don't see anything…

Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!

'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?

Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway.

'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?

Oh my god, that is so morbid!

A lot of people try to boil down creation to just one thing and "what are you gonna do next" as if there's always a ladder to climb and it's like, the ladder is what you make for yourself, right?

Little piggy no no little piggy go home!

'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry.

…Why are you just there?

You got a stinky butt butt." Wow, thanks, that's really appreciated. I can think of a lot of logical explainations for why I got that text, like sure, maybe someone's kid got the message, but also, I know people in my life that would just text me that out of the blue, so I'm not gonna chalk it up to a kid automatically doing that.

…Dammit, where the hell are these guys? They're nowhere to be found.

[to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!"

! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! Calm down!

[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"