Markiplier Quotes

American YouTuber and Internet personality

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Markiplier, real name Mark Edward Fischbach (born June 28, 1989), is a comedian, YouTube personality, and video game commentator.

From: Wikiquote (CC BY-SA 4.0)

Birth Name: Mark Edward Fischbach

Alternative Names: Markimoo • Mark Fischbach • Marky

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'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry.

…Why are you just there?

'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?

[after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You son of a bitch!"

Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!

[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"

A lot of people try to boil down creation to just one thing and "what are you gonna do next" as if there's always a ladder to climb and it's like, the ladder is what you make for yourself, right?

That scared the buhjeezus outta me!

Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!

Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway.

And now it says 'press B to blow.' Really?

Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!

'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?

What is that? Is that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ?" [gets closer] "Oh, no. I saw that thing; it looked like a giant, white box-head.

That guy was, like, in full body armor! How'd they kill him?