Top 15 Markiplier Quotes

Nothing like washing helicopter dicks to make your day a little brighter.

A lot of people try to boil down creation to just one thing and "what are you gonna do next" as if there's always a ladder to climb and it's like, the ladder is what you make for yourself, right?

You got a stinky butt butt." Wow, thanks, that's really appreciated. I can think of a lot of logical explainations for why I got that text, like sure, maybe someone's kid got the message, but also, I know people in my life that would just text me that out of the blue, so I'm not gonna chalk it up to a kid automatically doing that.

If I can't powerwash a cat, I'm out.

And now it says 'press B to blow.' Really?

…Why are you just there?

Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!

Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!

[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"

Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!

…Dammit, where the hell are these guys? They're nowhere to be found.

[when the ghost woman appears behind him] "WWWWhoa-kay, back up there, lady…"

Nonononono…! You don't see anything…

What is that? Is that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ?" [gets closer] "Oh, no. I saw that thing; it looked like a giant, white box-head.

Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway.