Paul Millerd Quotes

Find a life you love and then do as much of the things you enjoy as possible

Your life is too short and too valuable to fritter away in work. If you don’t get out now, you may end up like the frog that is placed in a pot of fresh water on the stove. As the temperature is gradually increased, the frog feels restless and uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough to jump out. Without being aware that a chance is taking place, he is gradually lulled into unconsciousness. Much the same thing happens when you take a person and put him in a job which he does not like. He gets irritable in his groove. His duties soon become a monotonous routine that slowly dulls his senses. As I walk into offices, through factories and stores, I often find myself looking into the expressionless faces of people going through mechanical motions. They are people whose minds are stunned and slowly dying.

On the pathless path, the goal is not to find a job, make money, build a business, or achieve any other metric. It’s to actively and consciously search for the work that you want to keep doing. This is one of the most important secrets of the pathless path. With this approach, it doesn’t make sense to chase any financial opportunity if you can’t be sure that you will like the work. What does make sense is experimenting with different kinds of work, and once you find something worth doing, working backward to build a life around being able to keep doing it.

woke up each morning and did what I felt like doing.

The philosopher Andrew Taggart believes that crisis moments lead to “existential openings” that force us to grapple with the deepest questions about life.16 He argues there are two typical ways this happens. One is the “way of loss,” when things that matter are taken from us, such as loved ones, our health, or a job. The other path is the “way of wonderment,” when we are faced with moments of undeniable awe and inspiration.

The word burnout was coined in the 1970s by Herbert Freudenberger, an American psychologist who studied workers in free health clinics. He found that the prime candidates for burnout were those who were “dedicated and committed,” trying to balance their need to give, to please others, and to work hard. He noticed that when there was added pressure from superiors, people often hit a breaking point.52

This is what the pathless path is all about. It’s having the courage to walk away from an identity that seems to make sense in the context of the default path in order to aspire towards things you don’t understand. It’s to experiment in new ways, to remix your own path, to develop your own personal definition of freedom, and to dare to have faith that it will be okay, no matter how much skepticism, insecurity, or fear you face.

Writing is an act of ego, and you might as well admit it. Use its energy to keep yourself going.

Having faith is admitting that you don't have all the answers for what comes next. Another phrase I've found useful to describe this state of mind is what the spiritual teacher Tara Brach calls "radical acceptance," which she says "is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is."

I've come to a point where I'd rather fail as a writer than succeed as a lawyer, and I need to try and fail or try and succeed, but I need to do it.

Enough is knowing that no amount in my bank account will ever satisfy my deepest fears. It's knowing that I have enough friends that would gladly open their door and share a meal if I was ever in need. It's the feeling that I've been able to spend my time over an extended stretch of time working on projects that are meaningful to me, helping people with a spirit of generosity, and having enough space and time in my life to stay energized to keep doing this over the long‑term. Enough is seeing a clear opportunity that will increase my earnings in the short‑term, but knowing that saying "no" will open me up to things that might be even more valuable in ways that are hard to understand. Enough is knowing that the clothes, fancy meal, or latest gadget will not make me happier, but also that buying such things won't mean I'm going to end up broke. Enough is having meaningful conversations with people that inspire me, people that I love, or people that support me.

Professor Tim Wu made this point in a widely read essay titled "The Tyranny of Convenience," where he argues that convenience, "with its promise of smooth, effortless efficiency…threatens to erase the sort of struggles and challenges that help give meaning to life."

Professors Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun have suggested that many people who face crises often experience "post-traumatic growth" and that this manifests as an "appreciation for life in general, more meaningful interpersonal relationships, an increased sense of personal strength, changed priorities, and a richer existential and spiritual life."

getting lost was simply the understanding that "the world has become larger than your knowledge of it."

It definitely wasn't a sudden realization. It's a little bit like having a pebble in your shoe, where you're walking and something is off, and it's mildly uncomfortable.⁠1 When he got raises or promotions the discomfort would subside but never disappear. Slowly, he became more curious about that feeling and realized that despite his external success, he had become a "passive participant" in his life.