Rupert Holmes Quotes

When a man dies from a bullet entering his chest, it’s a homicide.

When a man dies from a meteorite landing on his head, it’s a tragedy.

Don’t use bullets. Use meteorites.

Don’t commit a homicide. Commit a tragedy.

-Guy McMaster

So you’ve decided to commit a murder. Congratulations.

It was absolutely the worst way she could have phrased it, as if her voice had been hijacked by what Edgar Allan Poe called the Imp of the Perverse.

OPERATING YOUR TABLE RADIO To hear Bach’s 5th Brandenburg Concerto, turn radio ON. To not hear Bach’s 5th Brandenburg Concerto, turn radio OFF.

Students also learned that a person is more likely to have a lethal accident in their bathroom tan a commercial flight, causing Chubby Terhune to believe that the bathroom on an airplane must be the most dangerous place in the universe.

When a man dies from a bullet entering his chest, it's a homicide.
When a man dies from a meteorite landing on his head, it's a tragedy.
Don't use bullets. Use meteorites
Don't commit a homicide. Commit a Tragedy.
-Guy McMaster

When a man dies from a bullet entering his chest, it’s a homicide. When a man dies from a meteorite landing on his head, it’s a tragedy. Don’t use bullets. Use meteorites. Don’t commit a homicide. Commit a tragedy. — Guy McMaster

Mr. Iverson, you've all the timing of a prophylactic salesman in a maternity ward.

I'm afraid I was buried in thought.
Yes, and I'm sure it was a shallow grave.

In the billions of years during which Life — an indispensable ingredient to Homicide — has been teeming on this earth, from that momentous primordial dawn when one bold amoeba set foot on land with the intent of becoming either a chicken or an egg, it was understandable that the strong would have dominion over the weak. But in recent millennia, flying in the face of Darwinian precepts, we have evolved into a planet where the un-fittest not only survive but often flourish, holding sway over their betters in a social order where dim-witted, dim-watted employers all too often lord it over their considerably brighter subjects. We at McMasters call this perversion of nature’s intent “the devaluation of the species,” and no modern pestilence is more pernicious in our overview than the Sadistic Boss. It is with pride that McMasters offers a powerful helping hand (or leg up) to those under the thumb (or heel) of such oppressors.

I hope you will come to better understand and appreciate the remarkable frailty of all life… and that you will learn to live each day as if it might be your enemy’s last.

May the only justice you face be poetic.

So you’ve decided to commit a murder.
Congratulations. Simply by purchasing this volume, you’ve already taken the all-important first step toward a successful homicide of which you can be proud, one that would gain you the admiration of your peers, were they ever to learn of it.
This book will see to it that they don’t.

what were my impressions upon viewing for the first time the manor where you’d had me brought? My initial thought was “Toad Hall.” This was, of course, an inadequate comparison but the best I could muster considering the limited number of books I’d read that centered on soaring Gothic structures. (As a boy, I went nine pages into The Hunchback of Notre Dame before realizing it wasn’t a football story.)

It’s a sad truism that those who appear affluent often evade the scrutiny of law enforcement.