Stassi Schroeder Quotes

I'm afraid that she's gonna ask me advice on how to dispose of Ariana's body. I mean, sodium hydroxide and a plastic bin. Google it. But leave me out of it.

What? I like sneaking wine in places. I mean, If someone's gonna pick a lunch spot That doesn't serve wine, sorry.

I mean, I'm not really what I've done to you, But I'll take a Pinot Grigio.

Sometimes life gives you a really good gift. Like knowing scheana wore a crop top to her wedding.

That is the ugliest effing wedding dress I've ever seen in my entire life.

Scheana looks like a cross between a Gypsy and one of those American Girl dolls. So long, Scheana. So Long Scheana's Eyelashes. So long, Scheana's Turban. So long, Scheana's Unitards.

Oh, My God, Scheana looks like two butterflies landed on her eyelashes and shit a Crayon.

You were in the dentist's office. You got a lollipop and a toothbrush when it was over.

Scheana, You weren't dying. You were in the dentist's office.

[To Jax Taylor] Just because you wear sweaters doesn’t mean you know how to design them … Do you know how annoying it is to hear about your sweater line? Don't bring up your effing sweater line

I want to make another cocktail.

Scheana's acting like we're close friends and she's telling me all this as if I actually give a fuck.

Ugh, This is why I date poor people. Rich people annoy me.

If being good at sex can get you a Rolls Royce, I must really not be good at sex.

I'm not really into physical activity. I prefer to stay, like, sedentary.